


comfortable

by strawberryfinn



Category: One Direction (Band), X Factor RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Unrequited, i was coerced into doing this, this is a really short drabble but i did it for the people who wanted lilo, this was really to warm up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 14:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfinn/pseuds/strawberryfinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were moments when Liam would look down at Louis’s tousled hair, brush his fingers over the planes of Louis’s chest, the familiar surface of Louis’s stomach, inhale, and think that he wouldn’t mind staying here for the rest of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	comfortable

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serendipitee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipitee/gifts), [el_em_en_oh_pee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_em_en_oh_pee/gifts), [Rory_Croft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rory_Croft/gifts).



danielle is pretty. she’s gorgeous really, all lean long limbs and small waist and delicate breasts and small wrists. a waterfall of curly brown hair cascading down her back, small, pert nose, a laugh that’s fluty and beautiful. she moves effortlessly, gracefully like a ribbon unfurling, walks with her shoulders squared, chin held high. she’s well-dressed, polite, confident. his family loves her, his friends love her.

 

he should be happy, liam knows he should. danielle’s perfect; she’s really all he could ask for, and she fits just right, snugly under his arm, slotting in like she should belong. she laughs at his jokes, curls up at his side when he puts a DVD in for them to watch on the tele, kisses him nice and soft, and looks at him like he’s hung the moon when they make love.

 

“i love you,” she says, “i love you, i love you.”

 

he knows what his reply should be. he knows, because he’s trained himself how to smile, how to square his jaw, how to look people in the eyes and shake hands, learned to convince everyone else—learned how to convince _himself_ —that he’s happy. he's built a gesture life, reaching out and saying the right things, because it's easier to do that than to feel.

 

louis was not perfect.

 

louis was lewd and crude and had a shit-eating grin and braces that clung sinfully to his body, and trousers that curved around his bum. louis woke liam up in the mornings by sticking his tongue into liam’s ear, loved to push and irk and bother liam until liam thought he might explode.

 

his mind screamed when he was with louis, he never knew quite what to expect. louis was an adventure, jumped on his back when he was in the supermarket and knocked the entire display of apples over. louis had thrust his hand into liam’s trousers when they went to that black tie dinner, had given him a handjob that had liam whining and groaning and moaning and flushed red with embarrassment.

 

they’d fought about it later, louis crowing that liam had liked it, liam telling him _there is a time and place for these things, you need to understand._ louis had hurled plates across the room at him, ceramic shards shattering against the wall and crashing to the floor. liam had yelled at him to get out, louis had gone to a bar and gotten pissed.

 

liam had picked up the pieces and cried and cried. he’d let the anger seep out of him, let himself think _this is it, i’ve had enough, i’m done with this._

 

louis came back at three, had crawled into bed with liam, reeking of alcohol. neither of them had apologized, but the next morning, louis made liam breakfast and kissed him, sincerity shining in his eyes.

 

not all of their days were bad.

 

their love was comfortable, worn in, a nest of familiarity. there were moments when liam would look down at louis’s tousled hair, brush his fingers over the planes of louis’s chest, the familiar surface of louis’s stomach, inhale, and think that he wouldn’t mind staying here for the rest of his life.

 

but things didn’t last.

 

“why are you leaving me?” louis had whispered, eyelashes trembling under the weight of the tears matting them together. “liam, what did i do wrong? please… i can change, i can be good, i can be better.”

 

“it’s not you, it’s me,” liam had stumbled nervously, looking at the ground, knitting his hands together. “i’m really sorry.”

 

 _you scare me,_ he didn’t say. _i’ve fallen too fast for you. you make me fall too fast—i’m too in love with you and i’m scared because you’re going to leave me, and i’m not going to let you break my heart._

 

 _i’m going to leave you before you leave me,_ he didn’t say. _i love you too much to have to learn how to fall out of love with you._

 

“you fucker,” louis bit his own plump lip hard, until he drew blood, and liam made himself walk away before he could reach up and touch what was no longer his.

 

danielle sighs, tapping his forehead. “liam,” she says softly, eyes gentle, encouraging.

 

“i love you,” he whispers back, acquiescing, and she smiles, white teeth pretty and glinting, and it reminds him of someone he once knew, someone he’ll always know, someone he’ll never quite forget.

 

he lets her curl up close to his side, wraps a protective arm around her waist, and his heart is heavy in his chest. he reaches a hand up to stroke her hair, tangle his fingers in the curls, and thinks of a bright boy with stormy, ocean eyes, sun-kissed kin, and cinnamon hair.

 

he wonders if somewhere across the city, louis is thinking of him too.

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't want to write lilo but then serendipitee (tommos-eyelashes) and el_em_en_oh_pee (dulosis) and Rory made me so i decided to hurt them
> 
> i also didn't capitalize so i am sorry


End file.
